It's something I struggle with everyday, the choice between doing what my heart says, and what my head tells me.
I think it's so common that we all do it subconsciously without even realising it. Yeah sure, the big choices always come from the heart, Who I fall in love with, what I do for a living etc.. but there are everyday choices that perhaps could be coming from a deeper place.
In order to do this I need to let go of the expectations of other people (weather they are there or just in my mind), and focus on what I know is best for my heart and soul. These past few years I have been making better decisions about how I spend my time (what time!? I say!!), but as the new year feels like it's quickly approaching, I am craving more and more space to myself and more and more time to reflect, have some peace and quiet and find better ways to relax into my life rather than fill it with more 'stuff to do'.
How indulgent it feels to even think about having more 'me' time. Time to be still, be silent and write in my journal again. Time to meditate, create and have picnic lunches in the grass with my dogs.
I sometimes crave a hermit lifestyle. One where I live hidden in the woods with my Man where we lye around in hammocks all day eating peaches.... what bliss!
We are so good at placing expectations on ourselves, I wonder why we feel the need to justify to one another how we spend our time? Is it enough that we exist, that we have families, work commitments, and a responsibility to take care of our health? We can put so much pressure on ourselves to be better, meet social expectations, always look fabulous and be a success... I'm thinking in this next coming year I want to empty my calendar, and fill my days with simple things like clay, cloud watching, reading books with cups of tea, writing, drawing, baking and spending more quality time in nature.
I've been thinking this all week, and I wonder why I'm so obsessed with making hearts at the moment... sometimes it takes a while for me to realise what I'm making, and what it's telling me. Or sometimes I just need to find enough silence so I can hear it speak.